Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's my first night of actual nursing on my new unit. I'm so relieved to finally be able to stop anticipating it and experience it. I tried to nap today to make the transition to nights somewhat easier, but of course I couldn't. When in the world have I not been able to sleep? I can always sleep. But my nerves I guess got the better of me.
I'm wearing scrubs a friend got me, and carrying the mug another friend gave me, so that I have reminders that there are people who believe in me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I’m nearing the end of my 2nd week in Tampa, my 2nd week as a travel nurse. I haven’t yet taken care of a patient, so there will still be a lot to adjust to, but so far it has been every bit as fabulous as I had hoped. The whole roller coaster of emotions has gotten a little less extreme: it’s probably just a kiddie ride now. Prior to getting here I would flip from pure excitement to pure fear in a second. Then back to excitement. A whole bunch of sad thrown in, as I had to bid farewell to some amazing people who’ve been my life for the last few years. The goodbyes really even made me rethink my decision, wondering why I was putting myself and them through this. But I kept reminding myself that Morgantown didn’t offer enough for me to build a life on, and I would have to move on at some point, so doing it when the destination was so exciting was probably the best time.

The drive down was all I thought it would be. Exhilarating, freeing, totally fun. Just me, Boris and some really good music. Reflecting on what I was doing made me feel really proud of myself. I was actually doing this: something that I had thought about and dreamt about for so long; something that inspired near envy in everyone I told; something that I even thought that at one point I would never have the guts to do. And guess what? I’ve got the guts. I just proved it to myself. So the drive allowed me precious time to urge myself on and revel in the fabulousness of what I was doing.

Once I got close, about 20 minutes out, the butterflies took over my stomach. Serious nervousness set it. I had to keep reminding myself that I had done the hard part, now all I had to do was show up. But the nervousness had me wanting to puke. Obviously, it was unfounded, and getting into my new apartment was a breeze.
I drove down the street just in awe of how beautiful it is: so much green everywhere, and then covered by this brilliant blue sky. I was so happy to be here.
That sense of awe hasn’t left me yet. Every time I step outside, I thank God for the chance to be here, to be doing something fun and still worthwhile. I thank him for this beautiful creation of his and that I get to enjoy it every single day.

I’ve been to a few restaurants, to a beach on the bay, and for a walk along the bay. I’m going a lot of places alone, but the only thing different about that is that I’m going places. I spent so much time in Morgantown alone, but I didn’t have anywhere to go, or the desire to go anywhere I should say. So the aloneness isn’t new. But the activity is. The ease with which I share things with people, and how open I am- that’s new. It’s like, by only living here for 13 weeks, I have nothing to lose. So why not go ahead and put my whole self out there. Nothing to lose. There’s a freedom in being alone; a freedom in knowing I’ll be moving on soon. It’s bringing out a confidence that I knew I was capable of. 

So Boris and I are pretty happy. I thought it might be hard to feel "at home" someplace where I didn't have my belongings, a new place with loaner furniture and all. But it's been surprisingly easy. Hasn't even been 2 weeks and I already feel it. Boris certainly does- that's him enjoying his new patio. Notice the grin on his face- he's loving being a Florida dog.

Friday, March 4, 2011

It's like Christmas Eve as a kid

I finally hit the road tomorrow, for real this time. Not like when I left Morgantown, since I've only made it as far as Pittsburgh since then. I had a lot of down time, some time to recover from the mania of the last few weeks of packing, paperwork and finishing up my job at Ruby. I've still been somewhat productive but have managed to get in a few naps.
I have my route planned and I got my new address today, so I actually know where I'm going. I've spent the afternoon (since waking up from my nap) googling pictures of my new neighborhood and apartment complex. I'm so very excited to be in that sunshiney climate again- all the pictures are just overwhelmingly blue and green.
I'll be stopping in NC for a night tomorrow, then in GA for another night Sunday, then I'll arrive at my new home Monday, in time to get Boris settled in and learn a few of the roads before starting work on Wednesday.
Boris seems to be pretty happy with the whole thing so far. He's totally unfazed by everything we've been through this last week and is still happy as can be.