Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I’m nearing the end of my 2nd week in Tampa, my 2nd week as a travel nurse. I haven’t yet taken care of a patient, so there will still be a lot to adjust to, but so far it has been every bit as fabulous as I had hoped. The whole roller coaster of emotions has gotten a little less extreme: it’s probably just a kiddie ride now. Prior to getting here I would flip from pure excitement to pure fear in a second. Then back to excitement. A whole bunch of sad thrown in, as I had to bid farewell to some amazing people who’ve been my life for the last few years. The goodbyes really even made me rethink my decision, wondering why I was putting myself and them through this. But I kept reminding myself that Morgantown didn’t offer enough for me to build a life on, and I would have to move on at some point, so doing it when the destination was so exciting was probably the best time.

The drive down was all I thought it would be. Exhilarating, freeing, totally fun. Just me, Boris and some really good music. Reflecting on what I was doing made me feel really proud of myself. I was actually doing this: something that I had thought about and dreamt about for so long; something that inspired near envy in everyone I told; something that I even thought that at one point I would never have the guts to do. And guess what? I’ve got the guts. I just proved it to myself. So the drive allowed me precious time to urge myself on and revel in the fabulousness of what I was doing.

Once I got close, about 20 minutes out, the butterflies took over my stomach. Serious nervousness set it. I had to keep reminding myself that I had done the hard part, now all I had to do was show up. But the nervousness had me wanting to puke. Obviously, it was unfounded, and getting into my new apartment was a breeze.
I drove down the street just in awe of how beautiful it is: so much green everywhere, and then covered by this brilliant blue sky. I was so happy to be here.
That sense of awe hasn’t left me yet. Every time I step outside, I thank God for the chance to be here, to be doing something fun and still worthwhile. I thank him for this beautiful creation of his and that I get to enjoy it every single day.

I’ve been to a few restaurants, to a beach on the bay, and for a walk along the bay. I’m going a lot of places alone, but the only thing different about that is that I’m going places. I spent so much time in Morgantown alone, but I didn’t have anywhere to go, or the desire to go anywhere I should say. So the aloneness isn’t new. But the activity is. The ease with which I share things with people, and how open I am- that’s new. It’s like, by only living here for 13 weeks, I have nothing to lose. So why not go ahead and put my whole self out there. Nothing to lose. There’s a freedom in being alone; a freedom in knowing I’ll be moving on soon. It’s bringing out a confidence that I knew I was capable of. 

So Boris and I are pretty happy. I thought it might be hard to feel "at home" someplace where I didn't have my belongings, a new place with loaner furniture and all. But it's been surprisingly easy. Hasn't even been 2 weeks and I already feel it. Boris certainly does- that's him enjoying his new patio. Notice the grin on his face- he's loving being a Florida dog.

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